**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
