I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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