Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
