And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
