he puts the penis in happiness.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
