susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
