How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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