i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize