Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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