God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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