also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
