is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize