yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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