when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize