Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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