The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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