Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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