i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize