well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
