Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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