i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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