Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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