Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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