i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
