he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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