the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She told me I should be a condom model.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
