And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize