we have officially lost it.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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