Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
