And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
