So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
