If i come over, it means nothing
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
