why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize