OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
