Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
