Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
