That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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