11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
