Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
