I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
