I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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