love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I came so hard my ears popped.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize