I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Found your dick twin last night
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
