I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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