I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
