The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
