so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize