She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
