I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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