gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
