Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
