did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I AM VODKA MAN
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
