Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
