i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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