i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
