Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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