then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize