i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
