He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize