She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
