my shit smells like andre
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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