Duck Duck Cougar?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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