Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
