I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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