it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
