It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
