I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
