um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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